


The Lie Comes Easier

by CuriousxCrowley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s08e01 We Need to Talk About Kevin, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8457628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousxCrowley/pseuds/CuriousxCrowley
Summary: Sometime it's easier to lie than tell the truth.





	

“Was there a girl?” Dean pushed, still trying to rationalize why he’d stopped. Never imaging how broken Sam had been, assuming he’d just thrown his hands up and quit.

Sam wants to scream and yell and ask Dean if he knew what it felt like to be the last person on Earth. If he knew what it was like to walk out of that lab missing what felt like half of his vital organs. Because Dean was gone and Sam had felt like dying.

To tell him how he’d tried at first to exist. How he’d felt like he owed it to Dean to fix up the Impala but once that was done he was right back where he had been. There was no point in having the car if there were no Dean. He barely ate and couldn’t sleep. There were nights when he expected Lucifer to join him again, moments when he heard him whispering in his ear. 

He wanted to tell him that the only moment of peace he’d found for months was the exact moment he realized if he died he’d join Dean in heaven, _their_ heaven. That if he’d succeeded that his last thoughts would have been praying Dean forgave him for whatever damage he’d do wrapping the Impala around a tree.

Dean couldn’t imagine how broken he was and the words got trapped in his throat. Suddenly admitting he’d spent weeks in the hospital seemed worse than Dean thinking he’d given it up for a girl.

It was just easier to say Amelia Richardson had been his girlfriend and not his psychiatrist, that he’d gotten a house in Kermit Texas instead of spending six weeks in the psychiatric wing of a hospital in Fort Worth, and that Riot had been the reason they’d met and not the therapy dog Amelia did rounds with. 

Because Sam wasn’t sure he could live with the way Dean would look at him if he knew the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know where this came from.   
> I haven't written for SPN for a while... so uh enjoy the drabble?


End file.
